Is it just an American thing to want everything for free? Are we just made up of some of the cheapest people in the world? I swear people will try to get every nickel and dime they can out of you without even blinking an eye or feeling like a cheap bastard.
I do have to say that our store makes it a bit easy by making it incredibly easy to get stuff for free. For god's sake, our policy is "just say yes." Yes you can have a new drink, yes you can have another shot of espresso, yes you can have more vanilla, yes you can have the rights to my unborn child...
But sometimes it gets so fucking annoying. Perhaps it is because I am not a cheap person and I wouldn't ever dare embarrass myself with some far out explanation to get something for free.
There must be some rumor going around in the area though. I think people are telling others about this "clever" way to get yourselves some free drinks. What happens is we get a phone call from some random person and they tell us they got their drinks this morning and they didn't taste good.
"Was there something specificlaly wrong with them?"
"umm...no. Well, there was like no espresso or something. It just tasted funny."
"Well, why didn't you bring it back? We would have remade it on the spot."
"Well I didn't realize it until it was like half gone and I was already back at the office." Or your fat ass drank it all, realize you wanted some more, and then your cheap ass didn't want to buy it so you just came up with some shit excuse so you could get a free drink that will do nothing good but go straight to your ass.
"Right. Well give me you name and I will go ahead and write it down so that we can fix it for you next time you come in."
You see? Cheap! How do we even know the bitch even came into the shop? We don't...it's the fucking just say yes policy when we really just want to say shove your shitty drink up your ass.
My other favorite is when out coffee is still finishing brewing and a customer goes like this:
"Small coffee"
"It has about 2 minutes left, do you mind waiting?"
"Sure, but you have to give it to me for free then, right?" You are fucking kidding me, I am about to give you a fresh cup of hot, yummy coffee for all of $1.45 and you want it for free because you have to wait less then 2 minutes? Bitch.
"Well, I can give you an Americano for the same price if that works better."
"No I want coffee. And I want it free."
So flatter me people with your thoughts on this whole ideal of free things! Perhaps it is just Portlander's or the snotty area we live in...but some of them are seriously the cheapest bastards I have ever seen.
9 comments:
People actually demand to have it free if its not done brewing? sheesh
oh my god... can't you just be like "um. sorry sir, but we can't give things out for free. we're a store. we sell things. coffee needs time to brew so if you don't want to wait, I suggest you stop drinking it" or something?
People in general, just suck.
I wouldn't want to work for them.
Coffee-loving bastards. They give us relatively normal coffee-lovers a bad name.
It's not just you! My favorite is an iced venti americano with no water, easy ice, and then the person walks over to the condiment bar and fills it with milk...really? Because I'm pretty sure that's a latte, and you paid about 2.50, and it should be about 5.50...cheap asses!
this sounds insane! i would feel so bad asking for a drink for free.
i love your blog! would you like to swap links?
People all over the world never cease to amaze with their skank-ass cheapness. Like in posh shops - some people buy, like, a keyring and then ask to have it in the biggest sized bag. WTF?
At restaurants one has to wait for the food to be cooked, why can't people wait for coffee to brew?!
I feel for you Lyndsey, I really do.
What I love, what I LIVE FOR was a woman who used to come into our store every day, and order a hot chai. Every. Day. Then, she would return that afternoon, tell us it was not up to par, usually that it was served not hot enough.
We would give her a new one. Every. Day. Finally, I got her as my customer when I was on the bar, and I said as I handed that to her one morning, "Is that hot enough? I would be happy to make you another one now if it's not."
Never saw her again.
Signed,
A fellow girl barista
You spelled Portlanders wrong. There should be no apostrophe. It's plural, not possessive.
But I totally agree that asking for extra vanilla is tantamount to asking for the rights to your unborn child. The nerve!
If you work for a coffee shop chain the margins you're making on the drinks are so ridiculous that giving out free drinks are of no importance.
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