The coffee shop is loud. Like REALLY loud. As a customer it might just seem moderately vivacious, but from the barista side it's like a fucking construction zone.
It's summer so we have the CONSTANT blending of frappuccino's and the general noise of the milk steaming. Add to that the loud ass kids, whose stay-at-home mom's just need a minute to breathe so the let their kids run like the devil, Paul fucking McCartney and general conversation and we've got a loud atmosphere. In one ear I have someone asking me a question, in the other I have someone shouting a drink...and in some random third ear that customers think we have, I have them mumbling something insignificant like: "Can I have some water. Now."
Well, apparently people don't get the volume factor. Apparently I have ears like a tiger or some animal with good hearing, like a zebra or something. Well, I don't. In fact, on top of my general bad hearing, I have selective hearing...aka...I am choosing to IGNORE your stupid request.
Regardless, I fucking hate mumbling. Number one, look at me when you order you drink. Don't whisper it over your phone conversation, yell it at me between chasing your crazy children, or literally order it without moving your lips. I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU. YOU MUST SPEAK UP, is what, among other things, I want to say. But no, I get this condescending response:
"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah."
"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." Mind you I was trying to understand but I didn't realize you were talking as you weren't making polite eye contact and your lips weren't moving.
"Blah Blah Blah Blah" Oh right, my "I'm Sorry I didn't catch that" didn't register as I DIDN'T FUCKING HEAR YOU, dumbass. You are mumbling. And I hate mumblers...speak up.
"GRANDE. NONFAT. LATTE. Get that?" Wow, wow, wow bitch...take it back. Seriously, take it back. I don't need you patronizing me when you are the bitch who can't fucking talk. IT'S LOUD, dammit. I don't need you to order to me like I am your three year old. Talk to me like an adult and punctuate.
And so, while you might think it's a bit loud in the lobby...think of the hell behind the counter. If I say "I didn't get that" it was because I couldn't hear you...not because I am some incompetent barista that can't understand English...SPEAK UP!
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4 comments:
I wonder what would happen if you wore earplugs!
I fucking miss you.
Just imagine that mumbling through a drive-thru speaker, as some landscaper is blowing leaves and your co-workers are screaming at each other.
My dearest Jenn! Oh how I miss you...Come back to us, I would KILL myself if I had to not only listen to bitches on the other sideof the counter but also in my fucking ear!
Nick and I miss you! We have no one to bitch with us anymore....
Have you considered a different career path?
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